Xombie - BLOATED BIOGRAPHY
It all began in late autumn 2010. Anders "Gutmeistro" Herold and Jakob "Gurgelmeister" Goul were at their school. An old incompetent Danish politician named Villy "Får du sovet?" Søvndal was going to speak at the school, but because Herold and Goul are lovable cunts they didn't want to waste their time doing anything constructive, so they sat down and made XOMBIE.

Armed with Fruity Loops 8 and a thing for awesome music they blasted their way across the internet with shoddily programmed blast beats, horrible trance pieces and down 'n heavy guitar riffs. With lyrics about porn, sex, horrendous faggotry, balls of hair, sodomy and shitting in a sock in order to beat someone with it, they seek to gross out and offend everyone.

Their goals are various. Their goal for 2010 was to gross out the queen of Denmark, but that turned out to be impossible, as she has seen some pretty nasty shit in her time. In early 2011 their main goal in life is to go triple platinum with their upcoming release "Internal Explosion", making Michael Jackson look like a total bitch.

The members of XOMBIE are:

Anders "Gutmeistro" Herold
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Jakob "Gurgelmeister" Goul
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